Pretty sure this is about the thirty fifth journal I'm writing where I'm apologizing for going MIA for months on end...

And before you start reading this... This is going to be a very heavy update, not heavy in topic, but amount of information. So if any of my followers would have any interest in reading I would greatly appreciate it, otherwise turn back now before you get sucked into my blabingggg.

But anyway, my life has taken a lot of new directions and even more has changed. I haven't picked up my camera in so long I'm sure its collecting dust. Kinda breaks my heart :/
However, this is not a journal to sit here and bitch and moan about my loss of motivation and blahblahblah. I grew sick of my mindless chatter about 3 journals ago hence me not updating for soo long. So let me see... things to update.

I'm legally an adult. (goodbye to excuses to act like I'm 5)
I now have 3 piercings (no biggie to the normal person, however my irrational fear of needles to the point of fainting has made this a huge accomplishment for me.)
I've held the same job for almost a year. (fuck me.)
i have spent over $150 on professional makeup in the last few months. (I've actually gotten rather good, hopefully pics to showcase soon enough..)
I have officially lost 17 pounds. (I weigh less than I did in 7th grade.)
I have a credit card and officially manage my own money (such a hassle in the simplicity of a card.)
I'm taking college courses next year for graphic design and tech. shit. (can't decide if it'll be good or bad yet.)
I finally got the balls to chop my hair and get bangs. (once again no biggie for a normsie, haven't cut my bangs since 7th grade. Whatever)
I have a serger now and make alot of my clothes, its soo fun and therapeutic to me. (now I look even freakier.)
My insomnia has driven me to the point of less than 5 hours a night for the last several months. (talk about walking dead.)

I feel like I'm living in a pretend dream world and can't snap out of it, its really quite aggravating.

Also I just realized the difference in the way I sound between this journal and my last one in December... Jezus how quickly life can change you. The reality of being shoved into adult hood quicker than I could stop to catch myself is kind of ridiculous sometimes.

But anywho.. no need for a dramatic bleeding heart sob story tangent at this point. Save it for another day haa.

I suppose for the most part I should stop there as to not bore you further with my rambling. It's late I'm fading my apologies ha.
I'm planning on updating verrry soon about the new direction of the majority of my photography. I've found a new sort of.. path you could say as far as photography.. Some of you will be interested and alot of you will not..
I will explain further in a few days/weeks/whatever comes next.
Needless to say I miss this community very much, and hope to some level that I've been missed as well haa.

talk to you soon friends.


I definitely just realized the irony in the title of my journal, I love when that happens haha.